sentimental

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i'm writing with a heavy heart, and i guess it's probably not the best of times to post something, but i can't help it -- i'm feeling sentimental, even if it might be overly so.

tonight was preschool graduation. although i have been watching them sing those songs over and over these past few weeks, i couldn't help it, i laughed the entire time. they never perform the same in practice as they do in show time, this i've learned. it was hilarious and i ate up every little bit of it.

then i watched them go through the motion of graduating and i have to tell you, it was overwhelmingly sad for me. i obviously, feeling the way i do right now, never considered the thought of the year eventually coming to a close. i never even thought of the time when i would stop seeing them, how heartbreaking! if you know them, you would understand the immeasurable joy that they give. they are somethin' else, those sweet five year old kids are.

going into the job, i remember feeling completely inadequate and lost, but in those moments of feeling frustrated i knew that this job fell in my lap for a reason. i was put into that position. either i was going to learn something or i was going to miss all of it, the latter being so easily to do. i could have missed all of it and i'm so thankful tonight that i can sit here, tears flowing down my face, knowing that i gained much, much more than i could have even hoped for.

one of the biggest loves of my job was carrying my bible into work everyday. i am still a faulty, imperfect human so not everyday was sunshine & unicorns with 10 five year old preschool-ers, i lost my patience -- and i didn't lose it just once. in the midst of those heated moments i am still reminded of what His grace and His love really is, it is immeasurable greatness.

some things i won't forget or get used to not having --

-their unfailing kindness towards me, not just out of respect for authority, but out of pure concern for my well being.

-praying over them, how easily they can sometimes seem to just pray over them. but i took it in stride, i'm so happy it took time to do that. i'm so happy that when we say our blessing over snack/lunch that when i ask what why we pray their response is "because it nourishes our bodies and makes us strong, not everyone has food". they know this. so again -- i get to pray over them, i pray over their health, their struggles, anything really.

-their words. gosh, the things that come out of those mouths. you just never know what it may be, they are the best comedians.

-their lunches, okay i'm being serious too, i've never seen anybody so over joyed about their food (aside from jonathan). which brings me to my next point.

-they are so easy to please, and i mean that in a great way, i can't be the funniest or the nicest or the prettiest or the trendiest or all knowing -- but they find something in me that pleases them, something that makes them happy.. every time. it never fails. it reminds me a lot of my Lord, some days i can't figure out what to do to please Him, i may never know in this life all of what pleases Him, i just know that even on those days i still do.

the Lord brought me out of where i was to put me in as a teacher at Joyful Noise Preschool, and i can't imagine not seeing them 3 days a week. but i know that their beautiful lives have been crafted intentionally together by our Creator. amazing things are in store for all of them.

and then on to my next adventure! going into this summer would not be possible without the various knowledge i've gained this year. i'm ready. i'm willing.

here am i, send me! 

isaiah six:eight

Goodbye 2011!

I haven't forgotten about my dear blog, and how much comfort it has given me over this past year.
I've tried to write a blog over these past few weeks, but it has been incredibly difficult and for some reason I am at a loss for what to say. 
Then I thought over 2011, and I cannot deny that this year wasn't my favorite. I feel hurt and disheartened over these past six months alone because of personal things happening, but when I began to stretch back to the beginning of my blog, I smile. I really did have a good year.
For starters, we moved this year! A beautiful house was built and I feel incredibly grateful to call it home, and one of the first things we did was put together an amazing garden! (which produced some abnormally large zuchinni)
Then summertime came along and my world was turned around, I went to Honduras.The things I learned there have changed me forever. I cannot get over all of the memories made.
Then soon after that was the farewell party, or the movie premiere, of the last Harry Potter. Which is another great reminder of the amazing people I am surrounded by.

About a month later I made a drastic change in my life by quitting my job for another opportunity and all of the struggles and love that came from that. My mini vacation to to the beach, and how incredibly needed it was. I reminisce over how I finally opened an Etsy shop, something I've been dreaming of for quite some time.

Then last, but most certainly not least, the love of my life got down on his knee and proposed to me. Without a doubt the best weekend of my entire life.

I am so ready for this new year, I am ready for all of the opportunities, I'm keeping my heart open for the adventures. Bring it on. I am ready.


Tomorrow I am posting my resolutions. Are you planning on posting your resolutions? Do you have any favorite past times of 2011?


P.S.S My comments have FINALLY been fixed. So sorry! 

hickory nuts,

On May 18, 2008 my grandfather passed away.
If you knew him, you'd love him, but nobody loved him nearly as much as my grandmother, who lives with us today.
There are so many blessings in having your grandmother live with you and yesterday reminded me just how grateful I am.

Soon Jonathan and I will be getting engaged, something that excites me even as I type this, and this weekend when I see him we are going shopping for the ring. (Gasp!)
I'll pick five that I really like and he'll decide which one to propose with months from now.

When I told my grandmother of our plans she smiled really big and showed me her goosebumps (yeah, she's pretty cute)! She adores Jonathan like you wouldn't believe and tells me all the time just how much he reminds her of my papa, the first time she told me this was when I realized how badly I wanted a future with him.

A few minutes after I told her she began telling me of how she got engaged, which I was surprised I didn't know, and when she was done I had to share with all of you. I can't stop smiling!

She told me that he asked her in his car in front of her parents house where a huge hickory tree was rooted, and had been for a long time. About 40 years later, on one of their many road trips, they came across a field of hickory trees, and when she wasn't looking he grabbed a handful. After they got home he spray painted them gold, where they now reside in her bedroom. I had always seen these and never questioned what they were, now when I see them (as they are still there 20 years later) it just reminds me of how beautifully strong their love for each other was, and still is. I cannot wait for them to reunite, oh what a joyous moment that will be!

Hickory nuts. Something so seemingly unnoticeable to everyone else, except them. 

Have a wonderful weekend!

With an abundance of love,