i'm writing with a heavy heart, and i guess it's probably not the best of times to post something, but i can't help it -- i'm feeling sentimental, even if it might be overly so.
tonight was preschool graduation. although i have been watching them sing those songs over and over these past few weeks, i couldn't help it, i laughed the entire time. they never perform the same in practice as they do in show time, this i've learned. it was hilarious and i ate up every little bit of it.
then i watched them go through the motion of graduating and i have to tell you, it was overwhelmingly sad for me. i obviously, feeling the way i do right now, never considered the thought of the year eventually coming to a close. i never even thought of the time when i would stop seeing them, how heartbreaking! if you know them, you would understand the immeasurable joy that they give. they are somethin' else, those sweet five year old kids are.
going into the job, i remember feeling completely inadequate and lost, but in those moments of feeling frustrated i knew that this job fell in my lap for a reason. i was put into that position. either i was going to learn something or i was going to miss all of it, the latter being so easily to do. i could have missed all of it and i'm so thankful tonight that i can sit here, tears flowing down my face, knowing that i gained much, much more than i could have even hoped for.
one of the biggest loves of my job was carrying my bible into work everyday. i am still a faulty, imperfect human so not everyday was sunshine & unicorns with 10 five year old preschool-ers, i lost my patience -- and i didn't lose it just once. in the midst of those heated moments i am still reminded of what His grace and His love really is, it is immeasurable greatness.
some things i won't forget or get used to not having --
-their unfailing kindness towards me, not just out of respect for authority, but out of pure concern for my well being.
-praying over them, how easily they can sometimes seem to just pray over them. but i took it in stride, i'm so happy it took time to do that. i'm so happy that when we say our blessing over snack/lunch that when i ask what why we pray their response is "because it nourishes our bodies and makes us strong, not everyone has food". they know this. so again -- i get to pray over them, i pray over their health, their struggles, anything really.
-their words. gosh, the things that come out of those mouths. you just never know what it may be, they are the best comedians.
-their lunches, okay i'm being serious too, i've never seen anybody so over joyed about their food (aside from jonathan). which brings me to my next point.
-they are so easy to please, and i mean that in a great way, i can't be the funniest or the nicest or the prettiest or the trendiest or all knowing -- but they find something in me that pleases them, something that makes them happy.. every time. it never fails. it reminds me a lot of my Lord, some days i can't figure out what to do to please Him, i may never know in this life all of what pleases Him, i just know that even on those days i still do.
the Lord brought me out of where i was to put me in as a teacher at Joyful Noise Preschool, and i can't imagine not seeing them 3 days a week. but i know that their beautiful lives have been crafted intentionally together by our Creator. amazing things are in store for all of them.
and then on to my next adventure! going into this summer would not be possible without the various knowledge i've gained this year. i'm ready. i'm willing.
here am i, send me!